Day 1 of Bachelor Captivity:
I have been trying to keep myself busy to stay out of trouble. I learned some valuable lessons about so-called "down-time" when My Beautiful Wife left on vacation without me last fall; namely, that for me it would be more accurate to call it "Extremely-Alarming-Downward-Spiral-Time".
I woke up this morning with an idea: I am going to start a side business! I researched good business models, emerging markets and current stock trends. Then I completely disregarded all of that and landed on a winner:
Black Market Second-Hand Furbys.
The Pros:
1. Seeing as how they are second-hand, they are relatively easy to acquire!
2. Low initial startup costs.
3. Sustainability. There are a TON of these things out there that were purchased during the great Furby Gold Rush of 1998-2000. There were over 40 million sold during that period, so as I stated earlier, getting a hold of old and broken ones should be a snap.
The Cons:
1. They are second hand and most often broken, being sometimes over 14 years old.
2. They are not easy to fix. I would have to learn basic robotics. And possibly Furbish (see below).
3. They only speak Furbish, with a smattering of English. I would have a hard time overcoming the language barrier to find them placement in a good home.
4. The black market. I just saw the movie Contraband last night, and those guys mean business. Apparently they all look and act like a cracked-out version of Giovanni Ribisi and are seriously crazy, assuming Marky-Mark movies are all totally true.
5. Just look at them- they are terrifying. It is like looking into a furry Abyss. They are genuinely creepy little gremlin-hamster-owl hybrids that blink slowly at you and try to steal your soul, and that is not okay.
Part of me feels that based on the pro and con lists, I should rethink this. The other part thinks that I already paid for the first shipment, and once you're IN, there's no getting out...
I'll let you know how it goes.
*shudder*
Sincerely,
Jared
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